Put the bong down: An open letter to PETA

To the PETA leadership:

I saw your latest publicity stunt, calling for fictional characters in a video game to stop wearing fictional fur. I could be very snarky in my letter to you, but I will instead attempt to engage you seriously.

I believe in animal welfare, which admittedly is not the same as animal rights. I own two dogs and I hate to see animals suffer needlessly. While I will never agree with your animal-rights ideology, I nonetheless recognize that you can serve as a useful advocate for animal welfare. People of all political persuasions can agree that animals should not be treated in a cruel way. Whether we are Republicans or Democrats, and whether we are liberals, conservatives or moderates, this is a pretty universal viewpoint. You can get support on many things you do if you would dial down the sensationalism.

This is why it is so unfortunate to see you behave this way. You have a ton of money and notoriety, and when you pull this stupid clown-shoes nonsense you destroy your credibility. Nobody takes you seriously and nobody has taken you seriously for a very long time. The time you spend on publicity stunts could be spent advocating against dog fighting or advocating for stronger animal cruelty laws in our criminal code. In fact, you could be advocating that if animals must be killed for fur (actual, flesh and blood animals, not fictional characters) they be killed in a much more humane way. This foolishness destroys your credibility on real issues of animal welfare.

Do I really have to explain why you are wrong here, and how you have betrayed the very animals you pretend to care about? If you do not take yoursELF seriously, why should anyone else take your organization seriously?

Not one single animal was ever harmed in the making of a Warhammer video game. Not one single animal will ever be harmed by people making or playing a Warhammer video game. Not only does this publicity stunt do absolutely nothing to help suffering animals, you have taken a number of people who might actually agree with you on protecting real flesh-and-blood animals, but are turned into enemies by this clown-shoes foolishness. It astounds me that anyone would ever support you instead of people who are actually serious about animal welfare or even animal rights.

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